Walking into a room full of strangers? That butterfly feeling in your stomach is totally normal. Even the most socially confident people feel a little nervous sometimes.
Here's the truth: social confidence isn't about being the life of the party. It's about feeling comfortable being yourself and making genuine connections. And the best part? You can absolutely learn and practice this skill.
Let's break down how to build confidence at Charlotte events, step by step.
Before You Go: Three Things That Actually Help
Do a Little Homework
Knowing what to expect makes everything easier. Spend five minutes checking out:
- The event details and venue info
- Recent photos on our Instagram to get a feel for the vibe
- Any pre-event chatter in our Discord
When you know where you're going and what to expect, you can focus on enjoying yourself instead of wondering if you're in the right place.
Have a Few Conversation Starters Ready
You don't need a script, just a few friendly openers for when your mind goes blank:
- "How long have you been in Charlotte?"
- "Is this your first Charlotte Together event?"
- "What part of the city are you in?"
- "Have you been to [venue name] before?"
- "What brought you out tonight?"
These work because they're genuinely curious and give people an easy way to share about themselves.
Wear Something That Makes You Feel Like You
Pick clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. Not what you think you "should" wear, but what actually feels good on you.
When you're comfortable in your outfit, you're more comfortable in conversations.
The Friend Strategy: Use It Wisely
Bringing a friend can help, but here's how to do it right:
Make a pact to split up after 30 minutes. Use each other as home base, not as a way to avoid meeting new people.
Introduce your friend to people you meet. "This is my friend Sarah — she's also exploring Charlotte!"
Skip the buddy system if you tend to only talk to each other or if one of you is way more (or less) outgoing than the other.
Remember: you're both there to meet people, so help each other do that.
Start With the Right People
Not every conversation opportunity is created equal. Look for:
Individuals or pairs instead of big groups (way less intimidating)
People near activities like games, food, or drinks where you have natural conversation starters
Other newcomers who might also be scanning the room for friendly faces
Anyone who makes eye contact and smiles — that's the universal "I'm open to chatting" signal
Pick Your Confidence Level
Not ready for the big networking mixer? Start here:
Low Pressure (Perfect for Building Confidence):
- Coffee Club meetups
- Creative workshops where you're doing something together
- Volunteer events with a shared purpose
Medium Energy (When You're Ready):
- Game nights at Hi-Wire Brewing or Seoul Food Meat Co.
- Food adventures around Charlotte
- Walking groups (movement makes chatting easier)
Challenge Level (For When You're Feeling Bold):
- Large networking events
- Trivia nights at Urban District Market
- Festival gatherings
Start where feels manageable, not easy. There's a difference.
Your Secret Weapon: Being Genuinely Interested
Here's something nobody talks about: confident people aren't the ones dominating conversations. They're the ones making others feel heard.
Ask follow-up questions: "What do you love about that neighborhood?" or "How did you get into that?"
Remember details: "Earlier you mentioned photography — any favorite Charlotte spots for that?"
Share related experiences: "That reminds me of when I first moved here..."
Give encouraging responses: "That's really cool" or "I hadn't thought of it that way"
When you focus on being interested instead of interesting, conversations flow naturally.
Mindset Shifts That Actually Work
Swap these thoughts:
"What if they don't like me?" → "I wonder what I'll learn about them?"
"I need to be impressive" → "I want to be interested"
"Everyone seems to know each other" → "Everyone was new once"
Try the 10-minute rule: Commit to staying at least 10 minutes after you arrive. The first few minutes are always the most awkward.
Set a small goal: Instead of trying to meet everyone, aim for one good conversation. This usually leads to meeting more people naturally.
Give Yourself Credit
Building social confidence takes time. Be patient with yourself.
These are normal:
- Some conversations feeling awkward (happens to everyone)
- Not loving every single event (that's why we have variety)
- Having more social energy some days than others
Celebrate these wins:
- You showed up (seriously, this is huge)
- You had one meaningful conversation
- You learned something new about Charlotte
- You made someone else feel welcome
- You tried something outside your comfort zone
The compound effect: Each event makes the next one easier. People start recognizing you, and you build a network of friendly faces who are genuinely happy to see you.
Common Worries (And Reality Checks)
"Everyone seems more confident than me"
Most people are managing some social nervousness — they've just gotten good at hiding it. That "naturally confident" person has probably been practicing these skills for years.
"I feel like I'm bothering people"
People come to Charlotte Together events specifically to meet others. You're not interrupting — you're doing exactly what everyone hopes will happen.
"I don't know enough about Charlotte yet"
Being newer makes you interesting, not boring. People love sharing their favorite local spots and playing tour guide.
"What if I run out of things to say?"
Have a graceful exit ready: "I'm going to grab some water — so great meeting you!" or "I want to say hi to a few more people — hope to see you again!"
Your Next Steps
Confidence grows through action, not analysis.
This week: Pick one event that feels manageable (not necessarily easy). Commit to showing up and having one genuine conversation.
Next week: Try a similar event. See if you recognize anyone from last time.
Keep building: Gradually try different event types as you feel more comfortable.
Remember: you belong here, and Charlotte's community is genuinely excited to meet you.
Ready to Practice?
Your Charlotte community is waiting for you.
Browse our upcoming events and find one that feels like a good fit. Look for events marked "newcomer-friendly" or hosted at familiar venues like Hi-Wire Brewing or Seoul Food Meat Co.
Want to start even smaller? Join our Discord to chat with folks before meeting in person, or check out our guide on joining your first event.
Follow along on Instagram to see real stories from community members who started exactly where you are now.
Social confidence isn't about being perfect. It's about being brave enough to show up as yourself. And honestly? That's exactly who we want to meet.
